******IMPORTANT: IF YOU ARE OFFENDED WITH POTTY LANGUAGE DO NOT READ THIS POST******
We are currently potty training Emma. I don't want to jinx it, but I think we're at the final stages, thank goodness. We created a special treat box with all the "best" candy, like M&Ms, Snickers, Twix, Crunch, Butterfingers... the small bars. Every time Emma is successful with a #2 in the potty, she and Anna get to have a treat, so Anna has been very vigilant, which is helpful.
Today we had dinner with Daddy at Burger King. Emma announces she needs to go potty, and Anna wants to come along, to check on the results.
Anna: I hope you have a poo Emma, so we can get poo candy!
Emma: Yeah, yeah!
(We run to the restroom, which shares a wall with the kitchen at BK. Each child runs into a stall)
Anna: Are you doing it, Emma?
Emma: Yeah. What you doing Anna?
Anna: I'm pushing my poo out. You can do it too, Emma!
(Sounds of slight struggle, and a fart)
Emma: I did it, Anna! I did it!
Anna: No Emma, that's not what it sounds like when you go poo. Tell me when you hear another sound okay?
(At that exact moment, a beeper goes off in the BK kitchen)
Emma: I hear it! I hear it!
Anna: NO Emma! That's not the sound a poo makes! It's more like a splash! Call me when you hear a splash!
Emma: Okay Anna.
(Mother is now purple from the embarrassment, and has told both girls to keep quiet and finish their business several times, and continued to be ignored, several times)
Emma: I sorry Anna, I have no poo.
Anna: Oh man! Now we're not getting any poo candy!
Emma: What you doing, Anna?
Anna: Still pushing my poo out.
By this time I want to see if I can flush myself down the toilet, be anywhere but in that restroom with other women standing there laughing and glaring at me. And wondering if Anna needs more fiber in her diet.
Moral of the story: It's nice having a big sister to teach you things... like what a poo should sound like.